Happy Birthday, Bobby

Tomorrow would be Bobby’s 28th birthday.

It's been almost three years.  Friends sent flowers.  Family members call to check on us.  Jan in Austin is taking Carly out for fish tacos (a Bobby specialty) as a tip of the hat to Showtime Chervil, as he was known in the kitchens where he worked.  Kara and Luch will do the same tomorrow in Jacksonville Beach.

Yesterday I learned that Bobby’s friends occasionally post notes to his Myspace account, which remains open though few still do Myspace.  As hard as it is to read some of the postings it’s pretty sweet, considering there’s no other place, real or in cyberspace, for folk who loved Bobby to gather in order to mark moments, grieve, tell stories, and “be” together.

“Being together” takes on a new twist when someone you love dies too young.  I’ve had to expand my understanding of what being together means.  I’m “with Bobby” when I drive by his old apartment and say a word, sometimes in grief, other times in comic relief.  I’m with him when I hear his music.  Or see a young adult on a bike.  

And I’m with him when I recall the only dream I’ve had about him ended with him saying to me, “Dad, I’m with you always.”

Happy birthday, Bobby.