My Faith Story by Fran White

“Francie, you know tomorrow is Sunday and it is time for you to make your public profession of faith – to walk the aisle and be baptized. You are old enough to understand that Jesus died for you so that you could be promised eternal life. Do you think it will be this Sunday?”  That was my mother. Every Saturday night (it seemed), she would begin what I called the “dreaded baptized” conversation with me. I was about 9 years old at the time and came to not look forward to Saturday evenings. I knew it was coming. I could tell. She got “that look in her eye.”  I would listen to her reasons for me to be baptized and that “it was my time.” Sunday morning would always come (no matter what I wished for otherwise) and when the invitation was given, I clutched the back of the pew when the first words of “Just as I am” were sung. I never made direct eye contact with my mother because if I did, I got the nudge. I begged for others to “walk the aisle” – take the pressure off me. That is one big aisle for a 9 year old and what if I tripped and fell. What if what I said the wrong thing to the preacher, what if, what if, what if….

As a footnote to this faith story….. I played in the empty baptismal pool at First Baptist Church in Corbin, KY (my home church) several times with Kathy Lewis who is now Kathy Springs and a member of our church. Did not that count for something? Her father was Bro. Jim Lewis and he was my pastor in Corbin, KY. Kathy was my very best friend.

Anyway, I did walk the aisle and I did make my public confession of faith and Kathy’s dad baptized me.  Did I come out of the water after my immersion, shouting hallelujah? No, did the skies part and God say “Well done.” No. Did I think I was going to be a missionary after that? No? But my mother did. That began the second dreaded conversation. “Do you think you want to be a missionary? You would make a good missionary”…that story I won’t go into ….

My point in telling you this is that even though it makes me smile or you laugh when I tell the story, it was the beginning of my faith journey.  My parents helped me to begin that journey. They were wonderful, kind, generous, loving people who fiercely loved their God.  There have also been so many others along the way that have blessed my life with their presence, their patience, their teachings, their mentoring, their love and care. This church has been very instrumental in my maturing and growing as a Christian.  It has given me a safe place to be my authentic self, to be accepted, to question, to challenge, to be outspoken, to participate, to be a part of and still loved. I remember not long after Carol and I had joined Highland (16 years ago) and Joe became pastor, a new church roster was being produced. Carol and I went to have our pictures made separately. As we climbed the steps to the 2^nd floor of the church, Jim and Rose Marie Hawkins asked us if we wanted to have our pictures made together.  Such a simple question and gesture of acceptance but such a huge act of kindness and inclusiveness to us at that time. We knew that we had found a church home.

I believe we have many faith journeys. I believe that some of those journeys are painful. Some are filled with doubt while others are filled with pure joy. I have had AHA moments and said “I got it.” I have had very fearful moments when I thought God had abandoned me in the worst of my times but it was me during that time who was not noticing God. I have had moments of such pain that I wondered if God cared and then felt his loving arms around me.

I humbly come to this place in my life feeling very honored to be asked to serve as a deacon. I only wish that my Dad was still alive to be a part of this – a part of my ordination. While we had different opinions of women’s role in the church, he always respected our differences. I remember one day having the conversation with him about wanting someday to be a deacon and if I was asked, would he participate.  He looked at me with steady eyes and I could see the struggle.  He wanted to be sure that he was speaking from his heart and he was speaking to his daughter.  He simply said “Yes, I would be a part of your ordination. “ So, Dad, I am here today to tell my faith story that you have been such huge part of – may you be here in spirit when I am ordained. May I serve with the same commitment that you served as deacon - with my heart in all of the right places.