What I Really Want to Talk About

“Like I wrote on the Sunday visitor card, I want to talk to you about being baptized again,” she said, as we pulled up two chairs amidst the Wednesday supper crowd.

Really what this visitor wanted to talk about was how her life had fallen apart and how far she’d wandered from God since she was baptized in 2001.

No, really what she wanted to talk about was the death of her young son a little over a year ago.

That was part of it.  But really what she wanted to talk about was whether or not heaven is real.

Ok.  But really she wanted to talk about her anger at God.

Somewhat.  Really what she wanted to talk about was her guilt over not being there to rescue her son.

Once you circle closer to the core issues is there a word of response?  Is there a balm in Gilead?

Trying to help people see God as Love when they’ve been programmed to believe that God is mad, vindictive, spiteful, and small is a daunting task, like trying to make an oblong rubber band hold a square shape-- no matter how carefully reframed it pops back to its original form.  

“I just wanted to pastor a pretty, easy church,” I confided later to a colleague with a sigh.

“No you didn’t,” she replied bluntly.  “That would have been boring.  This is exactly what you wanted.”

She’s right.  This place, these moments, this work feels like the heart of God.

So we do not lose heart. We trust that One comes along whose Word slides in around our stammering words and does something we can’t explain.